Hi Friend,
Once upon a time, I wanted to be a movie star, a fancy photographer, a pilot. I wanted to dance on Broadway (I did). I wanted my film, Crazy Sexy Cancer, to win an Emmy (it didn’t). I’ve wanted a lot of things. Some stuff I got, others I didn’t.
Like many folks, I’ve had multiple careers, five to be exact. Then, I settled into writing and chatting with you. To be honest, I like this career the best. Why? Because it challenges me to be real, authentic and vulnerable. Those squishy qualities can be hard to share, especially publicly. After all, everyone wants to be liked. But as I approach ten years of living Crazy Sexy style and yet another book launch, what I know in my bones is this: The more I accept who I truly am, the more I shine like a diamond. This is true for you too.
Chew on this concept with me: It’s OK to accept myself unconditionally.
Here’s your affirmation: I love and accept myself exactly the way I am.
It hurts my heart to reflect back on the multiple times in my life when I felt like I wasn’t “good enough.” I was so very hard on myself. I felt like I had to jump through hoops to be loved and appreciated. Rarely was I at peace with my efforts. I know I’m not alone because I’ve coached hundreds of women who have felt the same. Funny, the few dudes who were brave enough to share their shizzle with me didn’t have these issues. But that’s another topic for another time. Our girls clearly need healthier messages.
If I could wave a magic wand and globally undo the blinding, binding words, “not good enough,” I would. But to be honest, that’s not my job. It’s yours to do it for yourself. But guess what? It’s simpler than you think.
For quite sometime now, I’ve been working on accepting myself completely. All of me. My brilliance, my so-called weaknesses, even my morning breath and most importantly, my dozens of incurable tumors. Now some might say, “But if you accept your disease (or your fill-in-the-blank), isn’t that like admitting failure?” Nope-sy. Unconditional acceptance doesn’t mean that we give up or wave the white flag, that’s quitting. Acceptance means that we let go of who we think we should be and fall in love with who we currently are.
Being at peace with what is creates a vast and holy space for healing. Remember, stress bleeds all life force. Accepting and honoring every ounce of Kris allows me to rest and renew. From that relaxed and receptive space, we gain the clarity and strength needed to create a blueprint for a happy, healthy life.
Let go.
Fall in love.
Heal.
When we accept ourselves exactly as we are, in exactly this moment, we shift from living for tomorrow to appreciating today. Acceptance heals. Rejection harms. Nurture and nourish yourself. Here’s how.
- Develop a connection to spirit
- Allow for quiet time (shhh)
- Forgive (yourself and that jerk)
- Welcome (and tend to) loving relationships
- Release unloving relationships (buh-bye emotional vampires)
- Lay in the sun
- Move your glorious body
- Eat plants (chomp, chomp, yum)
- Breathe deeply often
- Smile
- Repeat
Each time I release a book into the world, I worry. Is it good enough? And then, I remember. Acceptance. I replace my fear with my affirmation. I love and accept myself exactly the way I am (and I love and accept this fabulous creation exactly the way it is!). From that place, I can be present and soak in moments like the one I had while reading the latest issue of VegNews Magazine. Crazy Sexy Kitchen received its first rave review. Thank you, VegNews! They gushed all over the cookbook.
“With Crazy Sexy Kitchen, Carr is arming readers with a laundry list of delicious recipes…If ever there was a vegan chef fantasy team this would be it … Reading the book already feels like you are at the party with Carr and her compassionate cohorts … It’s fun, it’s edgy … Carr, Sarno, and friends have created a lasting tome that’s sure to persuade the palates of innumerable people.”
If you’re like me, you may get squeamish around compliments. You shrug them off or deflect them back to the compliment giver. “No, YOU are great. No, YOU are more great.” However, when we practice unconditional acceptance, we challenge ourselves to say two very powerful words.
“Thank you.”
As my dear friend Cheryl Richardson reminded me on the phone recently, “Life loves you, Kris.” Thank you, Cheryl.
Dear readers, life loves you too. Exactly the way you are. Today. Breathe it in. Ole!
Your turn: What would be possible if you gave yourself the same unconditional acceptance that you give to others?
I love reading your stuff. YOU are awesome!! I love this. You said, “Acceptance means that we let go of who we think we should be and fall in love with who we currently are.”
Wow!! Thank you for sharing all your knowledge and kindness. All the best to you. Renee hugs. 🙂
Thanks for this! I love reading your posts and appreciate your sharing information and inspiration.
Kris, I don’t know if you get back to people who leave replies to your website… What you write totally resonates with me, nothing but love and respect for you! I have some trouble with the concept of forgiveness… Is it really that simple to just write, to accept yourself you need to forgive yourself? I was in a really bad relationship, it was at a time that I had lost a lot and for fear of losing anything else, I clung to it with all my might, he couldn’t handle the pressure even though he said he wanted to, I didn’t feel I manipulated him, but he really broke me down. He betrayed my trust and was just so, so mean, (as immature as that sounds), he walked all over me. We’re broken up about 3 months now, while at the time I was terrified, TERRIFIED of breaking up with him, losing him, regretting it… All I feel is intense hatred and regret I wasted time with him and didn’t get out of it sooner. I really want to forgive him, I want to move on heal, have new beginnings, but there he is always on my mind, and there I am always disgusted when I look back on how I was treated and I just can’t help but wonder… Is it really just that simple? Forgive.
Hope I’m not speaking out of turn….but it sounds like your having such a difficult time. I just wanted to suggest the book You can heal your life written by Louise Hay. I recently re-read the book and watched the dvd that came with it (under 15 bucks on amazon) and girl….it got me thinking right 🙂
Love, love, love this. Exactly what I needed today. 🙂
Hi Kris, Thanks for this great post! I totally agree with your words about writing. “Because it challenges me to be real, authentic and vulnerable. Those squishy qualities can be spooky to share, especially publicly.” I started writing and making art about 6 years ago. I found that artistic expression is a powerful form of self-love because it forces me to be vulnerable. As I suspend judgment, I give to myself that moment, which literally sends a message to myself that, “It’s OK to be me. I am enough in this moment.” Art heals as we reveal ourselves to ourselves, authentically. So, thank you again for continuing to share yourself authentically!
Hi Kris, since 2001 I had also my own personal battle against cancer till now, I am struggling to find peace in my mind. I luckily have found this wonderful book about love: “loveability”. It is incredible hard for people who have/had cancer to live a normal life again, to find acceptance and to fit in in that crazy world but it is vital to have selflove despite all the friends disappearing in once life, despite family members who do not care. I thank God to send me love because I know it is the only way for complete healing. Long life to you Kris.
You rock it girl! Way to promo self-acceptance. So key to freedom and health. I’ve been learning to incorporate this practice into my thinking the past few month and it really relaxes me and makes me feel happier. And when i’ve shared this radical idea of changing from resistance to acceptance with a friend, its such a shock to them. How sad this is radical thinking to most of us, but that’s why God is using your beautiful voice spread the love baby! Thanks Kris.
Love this. Thanks Kris.
My daughter, Katy, is being treated for stage IV colon cancer. I cannot tell you how much we appreciate all of the information that we have gleaned from you…Thanks so much and may God bless you!
🙂
THANK YOU, 🙂 I needed to hear this! 🙂
Thank you. Awesome words.
I thought I was the only one who cringed at compliments! Glad to hear it’s a feminine phenomenon! Yep…I’ve got some things to work on 🙂
This is an awesome article. I now feel freed to release my writing into the world. Much blessings!
The simplest concepts are often the most difficult to put into practice. I think that repetition makes this one easier. Another one that upon face value seems simple: We are only responsible for our own actions and reactions. It’s a shift that takes a while to assimilate.
Thank you, Kris. I have ‘followed’ your work for a few years and I know you wrote this a while back, but I was recently listening to something online and your name was mentioned. How you had embraced loving your whole self, including your tumours.
One of my beloved rescue dogs had surgery a few weeks ago and last week we found out the lump was/is (as the vet wasn’t able to remove everything) a cancerous tumour. The op happened around the time that I heard your name pop up. I have always loved my dog very much, of course. My dogs are my ‘kids’, but your words have helped me to love this part of him that I would rather wasn’t there, too. To try to replace my fear for him, with the love I feel for all of him. So thank you, from both of us.
What a wonderful article! Thank you for sharing this, it helps me so much! I believe accepting ourselves and where we are at is just as important as healthy eating and lifestyle, don’t you? Wow! I am still learning to accept myself and the place I’m at in life, but it is such a joy to know that Life/God loves me unconditionally and accepts me just as I am – and so I can accept myself and really love myself unconditionally too…. Your story is so inspiring and your website has helped me a lot!
Thanks Kris, I love your spirit 🙂
Accepting and letting go of what we want in place for what is truly possible given who we are, is definitely a huge leap of faith.
Kris, Thank you for bringing this thought out in the open.
Just thinking about accepting who I am makes me feel excited, though I need to get more clarity on who am I truly???LOL!!
My best friend sent this to me. I’m glad she did. I really enjoyed it. Even though I came to terms with my over achieved height and non traditional body early in my life, I find every now and then I need to be an assassin and annihilate a stray negative thought. Those hateful things must die!!!